How we spent Christmas

It has been a really nice Christmas. People say that Christmas is for children and having an appreciative child really does make the wonder come back.

We were just five for Christmas – me, Margaret, Lucy, Tom and Julia. Sam, Lucy and Arthur are in Jersey with Lucy's parents, while Max and Inna are in New Zealand, spending Christmas day at Hot Water Beach. We were able to speak to both of them - Max on Christmas Eve and Sam on Christmas day. Skype is a wonderful thing!

Julia is too young to be into the whole Father Christmas commercialised thing, but she did love the tree, the decorations, the company, the food and the presents.

Julia checking out the Christmas lights.

All the stimulation seems to have spurred her speech along and she is now learning new words every day. She can say “Olly” and when you know the dog's name, you're well on the way. A few days later she asked me for a “raspberry” quite clearly.

Tom and Lucy came up on the day before Christmas Eve. I was busy in the kitchen, putting up a new towel rail and installing childproof locks on the cupboard doors. It was all a bit of a fiddle, made harder by the fact I was not able to have a swear (Julia would learn “bloody hell” as quick as a flash).

The towel rail was done with minimal drama and just needed the glass end superglued back on when I dropped it on the floor. The childproof locks were to go on the cleaning cupboard, bin cupboard, glasses cupboard and drinks cupboard. I got magnetic locks which you open by holding a magnet on the outside of the door opposite the lock and this causes a catch to be disengaged.

The lock and catch have to be in exactly the right position otherwise it doesn't work and the design of our cupboards means that you can't position the locks in the obvious place (at the top). The doors are also quite thick oak, so the magnet has to be in just the right position in order to release the catch.

This might sound like a long list of excuses, but it is, in fact, just a few reasons why the locks didn't operate completely smoothly, despite some repositioning work and a few strategic dots placed on the outside of the door in permanent marker to show where the magnet should be placed. I think Julia might get the hang of opening them before we do!

My final job of the day was putting up the Christmas lights on the front of the house. I'd bought a set of pink lights from Tapps garden centre in Baldock and once up (with Tom's help) they looked quite good, except that a metre length of lights (the first metre of 11.5m) were not lit. We had to take them down and reposition them so the unlit section was out of the way. Miraculously, a couple of days later, every other light in the dud section came to life.

Julia thinks the lights are amazing and has to be taken out every morning to see them. Margaret pretended to brush her head on the loops, so Julia has to do that as well. If you ask her which is the red, blue and green light, so can point them all out for you. She doesn't seem too keen on the yellow ones for some reason.

On Christmas Eve, Tom and I took Julia to Moor Farm to pick up the goose, a cockerel for Boxing Day and a ham. We were good and early, so the shop was very quiet. I had a mince pie and a cup of mulled wine, while Julia got to pet the farm dogs and to go round to the barn to see the cows. We have enough food and drink for an army, including Chimay Blue, sparkling wine from Gifford's Hall (Suffolk) and English white wine from Three Choirs in Gloucestershire.

Something catches Julia's attention on Christmas morning. Holly's
attention is on the biscuit in Julia's hand.

Julia likes to get up in the morning and come downstairs with me to make a cup of tea, which allows Tom and Lucy and extra hour's lie-in. As soon as we're downstairs, she goes straight to the cupboard where the biscuit barrel is kept and wants a Rich Tea biscuit, which she sits and nibbles while I drink my tea. She's learned the joy of dunking and likes to hand me her biscuit to have the end dipped in my tea. Lucy does not entirely approve of Rich Tea biscuits, but she does approve of a lie-in.

We had goose on Christmas day. I'd had goose once before and it's quite nice, but I probably prefer turkey, especially the one we had last year from Moor Farm, but Lucy had mounted a successful campaign for goose. It was actually very nice and dinner, cooked by Tom, was a success. We had a visit from Pauline, Chris and Jasper in the morning to exchange gifts and then we walked the dogs around Toneham.

Julia in her Christmas pullover.

For the first time in a number of years I missed out on a Christmas drink at the Rose & Crown but my sister, Alex and Clare came round for more present swapping and drinks before dinner. Julia was very happy; she loved opening her presents and was happy with everything that she was given. I think she would have quite liked Holly's pheasant toy but she was happy to see the dog playing with it. Holly also got a new duckie from my sister, so it was a pretty good Christmas for the dog as well.

On Boxing Day, we had a cockerel for dinner and Margaret took charge of the cooking, while we went to see the Fitzwilliam hunt meeting at Stilton. Julia really enjoyed it and was able to stroke a horse, got a 'horse kiss', saw a golden eagle and met a variety of dogs, including a massive St Bernard. Dinner was nice and there was a round of Telefunken (a card game popular with Lucy's family) in the evening. It was only my second go at Telefunken and I got off to a very bad start being caught with some high-value cards in my hand. It was between Tom and Lucy to win and I was playing for pride. Lucy is very competitive and she was very put out when I unloaded some cards that Tom needed to win the game. We had a second round a few days later and all the cards seemed to fall perfectly for me; I even got a batatarse (I think that's the right spelling) which is quite a feat. Lucy was very gracious this time round and said I had won fair and square.

We have discovered that Margaret has a knack for getting Julia to go to sleep. She's very good at spotting the right moment to take her to bed and at calming her down when she doesn't think she needs a sleep. Consequently, Margaret has been in charge of the afternoon/late-morning nap and one afternoon, she had left the baby monitor on. We heard Margaret snoring quite loudly, then Julia woke up, woke Margaret, who stopped snoring and then I think they both had another 40 winks.

Hamerton Zoo - the Bactrian camels are enormous beasts.

Lucy has been working quite hard during the holidays, trying to get ahead (or keep up) with her reading. She's also doing interviews for a study in breastfeeding and part of her first-year PhD. It's not been all work, but we have tried to give her a few days when she can spend a few hours with a number of books. On the day after Boxing Day (also a bank holiday), Tom and I took Julia to Hamerton Zoo (her second visit). It's quite a good place to spend a few hours and Julia can do plenty of walking to tire herself out. Tom can't really get his head around it, but this is exactly what we did when he, Sam and Max were little. For me it's déjà vu.

I have a new job - it involves a red suit and a beard

Santa makes an appearance in our kitchen

In October, I took over from Pauline as chair of governors at the Duke of Bedford School in Thorney. There's been plenty to learn and to catch up with, but it's coming along.

One thing I didn't expect was to be asked to be Father Christmas at the school Christmas Fair. It was my worst nightmare, but I was promised there was a Santa suit and some helpers, so I said yes.

Amanda, from The Lovely Little Tearoom, lent me a suit because we'd heard the school one was a little threadbare and, with Margaret's black Hunter wellies, I looked quite good. No-one would know it was me.

I'd expected a few awkward questions: "Are you the real Santa?"  That kind of thing, but in the end, there were no dissenters or naysayers, just excited children. Only two were upset (one being Julia, whom Margaret had brought along) and the other an equally small toddler. I was able to charm her enough to give her a book, but Julia wasn't having any of this Santa chap - she made sure she kept a safe distance.

I had a good chat with most of the children. Those with dogs were very amused at the thought of their pet barking at Rudolph. Some were very earnest, but most just excited and not at all obsessed with letting me know what they wanted for Christmas. A few children said they didn't mind what they got and one girl told me she was hoping for a SIM card for her phone. Another wanted a drone and, if Santa delivered, he was planning to film aerial shots of the village and post them on his own YouTube channel. He sounded as if he should have been talking to the bank manager, not Santa.

I've a horrible feeling that the Santa job is like all those others in the village - once you done it that's it, it's a job for life.

Looking after grandchildren

I have not posted much on my diary for the past couple of months. I seems to have been ridiculously busy - I am looking after Julia one day a week, I've taken on the job as chair of governors at school and there has been an edition of the Thorney Post to get out. There's also Probus meetings, Churches & Teas Group, helping at Thorney Friendship Group and Spanish classes.

I'm not complaining, I enjoy all my jobs, especially the time spent with Julia, but it is surprising that my retirement free time is so small. In the new year, I will have to resolve to get better organised. I'd really like to devote a bit more time to fitness and also get the allotment better organised. Perhaps the two could be combined?

I started my Julia-sitting duties at the beginning of October when Lucy began her PhD at King's College, Cambridge. I had agreed to do Wednesdays, Margaret Fridays and Tom Thursdays (Julia would go to nursery on Mondays and Tuesdays). It's easy to sit down and plan these things, but reality has a habit of getting in the way of the best-laid plans. Julia didn't take to nursery very easily and, to make matters worse, Tom and Lucy had chosen one in Letchworth instead of the one across the road from their house. This meant a mile-and-a-half trip each way, the purchase of a bicycle, child seat for the said bike and a lot of worry about whether Julia would ever settle.

Of course, she did, but only after a few weeks. The trouble with nurseries is that they take every opportunity to get the child back home, so if parents show any weakness (such as saying "let us know if she's upset") they will be straight on the phone. It's hard to be hard, but it's the only way.

Julia did settle in pretty happily in the end, but Tom and Lucy have now moved her to the nursery opposite their house, which should be a much more convenient arrangement. There are more children in the group, but I'm not sure Julia will worry about that.

Lucy has been hit hard by the amount of work she needs to do and has had to do a lot more reading, research and essay writing than was anticipated. This, combined with Tom's unpredictable work demands has meant we've been on call for some additional days and also some weekends.

I was a little worried about looking after Julia, it's been a long time since I had a toddler to care for, but it has been a real joy. She seems to have had a continual cold and cough since starting nursery, but she's a real pleasure to be with and it's nice to be able to spend so much time with her. When my own children were this age, I was working all the hours I could to earn money and progress my career and I missed out on such a lot.

She loves a walk around Baldock and a trip to Tesco is always a good bet. I've also taken her to Heartbeeps (grown out of that now), toddler singing in Letchworth, Logan's Den (a play cafe in Baldock) and a regular trip has been to Grandparents & Toddlers Playgroup at the Mrs Howard Memorial Hall in Letchworth. This runs from 10am to 11.15 on Wednesday mornings and, combined with a rail trip from Baldock, plus a look at the fountains in Letchworth, makes for a very convivial morning. After that's it's lunch, potty training, sleep, play, dinner, bath and then mum or dad is home.

Julia has a snooze on grandad's belly (nice and soft)

I've been rocking her to sleep to Edward Lear's The Owl and The Pussycat. My mother used to say the poem to me when I was a little boy going to bed and I can still her her voice, deep in my soul: "what a beautiful pussy you are ... you are ..." as I drifted off to sleep. I'm not sure Julia always hears the magic and sometimes I have to revert to “Rock-a-bye Julia in the Tree Top”. A tired teddy was a useful prop for a couple of weeks, but Lucy has now hidden Teddy so Julia doesn’t suffer from this crazy English teddy fetish. Lucy has never used a cot for Julia (she calls it a cage) so the sleep routine has to be to rock her in your arms until she nods off, make sure she's properly asleep and then put her down on the bed. It's like handling high explosive - you need a steely nerve and a steady hand. Often, I'm ready for a sit down as well, so I just rock her to sleep in the comfy armchair and enjoy a quiet hour or so myself.

It's a shame we can't enjoy as much time with Arthur, but Jersey is not as easy to reach as Baldock. Arthur has been in nursery full time, five days a week, since Lucy started back at work in August. We've just has a weekend with them in Jersey and I can't believe how hard they all work. Arthur is generally up about 5am and is starving. On Monday, I was down at 6am and he was, uncharacteristically, crying and grumbling in Lucy's arms. Lucy said he wasn't happy because his milk was taking a while to warm up so I took him into the lounge to divert him by showing him the Christmas tree.

Lucy was soon through with his milk and he sits back in his little rocking bed and holds his bottle to drink. He's very dextrous when it comes to holding a bottle and he does love his food. His joy in a morning is to go to nursery at 7am and have a Weetabix with warm baby milk when he gets there. He started on a few solids a month or so ago and he will now try pretty much anything. He doesn't have teeth yet, but he worked his way through a good length of banana, various vegetables and meat, including ham. He seems to have a slight egg allergy so Sam and Lucy are avoiding that. Because we won't see Sam and Lucy at Christmas, Sam did us a Christmas dinner on the Sunday evening, complete with chicken, ham and roast potatoes (plus Christmas pudding). Arthur had his first taste of Brussels sprouts and thought they were yummy.

During the week, Arthur's day starts around 5.30am with breakfast milk, then he's off to nursery at 7am and dropped off by either Sam or Lucy, who then go on to work. The nursery is in St Helier and is quite close to both Sam's and Lucy's surgery/office. He's there all day and get's picked up after work and home about 6.30pm. Arthur is often ready for sleep and so it's time to get him ready for bed and then off again in the morning. Weekends are when Sam and Lucy get to spend time with him. It's a very different routine to the one we had with our children, but Arthur seems very happy and is growing up fast. He can sit confidently, but can't yet pull himself into a sitting position. If you put him on his belly, we will lift himself up into a crawl position and can move himself backwards on their wood floor. He will also stand and lean against the back of a chair or between your legs, so he has a lot of core strength for his age.

He likes to go in his walker and can get around the lounge quite well. He also has a lot to say for himself and jabbers away to the world, generally with a nice smile on his face.

Arthur falls for the old reindeer ears picture

We only had a couple of days on Jersey and on Saturday morning we went to St Peter's Garden Centre near the airport to buy a Christmas tree. We'd feared the worst that crowded Christmas shopping could throw at us, but it was actually a really nice atmosphere and Arthur quite enjoyed all the sights, the people and being wheeled/carried around. Sam was on call and had to go to see a patient, but we'd taken two cars, so we stayed on a bit and had a drink and cake in the cafe. Margaret has been campaigning for a new artificial tree and I have been a bit grumpy about it because we had an artificial tree which she gave away two years ago. I think I got into the Christmas spirit in Jersey, if we hadn't been restricted to two cabin bags, I'd have bought trees, lights, reindeer ...

It was fine weather, but with quite a cold wind and, in the afternoon, we went down to St Aubin's Bay and walked around to St`Aubin, where there was a small community Christmas Fair. Arthur was well wrapped up in his special suit and slept pretty much the whole walk. Margaret insisted on pushing him despite cold hands.

Once Arthur was in bed and we'd watched Strictly Come Dancing on television, I suggested Lucy decorated the tree. She didn't look very happy at the prospect (I think she had her heart set on finishing the sherry bottle), but knew she wouldn't have time the next day, so she set to. She soon started to enjoy herself and the tree looked lovely. Arthur was very interested the next day and grabbing a bauble off the tree might be just the incentive he needs to get his head around this crawling business.

Blowing raspberries at Arthur on the walk.

On Sunday, we walked through St Lawrence, via the back roads to Hamptonne Country Life Museum, where there was another Christmas Fair. It's an interesting place and one of the attractions was a working cider mill, which would be a great facility to have in Thorney. There was an apple crusher, a press and a collection of fermentation barrels. We had mulled cider and an enormous sausage in French bread, which meant I could barely eat anything for the rest of the day.

Arthur was happy to snooze most of the time, but woke up on the way home and decided he's spent enough time in his buggy. Sam and I carried him, taking it in turns until the last quarter of a mile when Margaret wanted a turn. When we got in, Sam cooked a Christmas dinner, while I entertained Arthur and Margaret went with Lucy to Jersey zoo. We'd decided to get Arthur a year's membership as it seems a good place to go to keep him entertained at a weekend. Arthur needed a nappy change and had presented me with a poo. As soon I I got his nappy off he wee’d and I only just managed to jump out of the way. I now had a wet pad and no idea where the new nappies were. I eventually found one under the changing table, but it turned out this was a swimming nappy (designed to keep in poo, but let wee straight out), so he needed a complete change by the time Lucy and Margaret got home.

The weekend was over all too soon. Lucy dropped us at the airport the next day and we had a monster breakfast there before flying back to Gatwick. It was a good journey and we were back about 2pm, in time to buy that artificial Christmas tree, some lights and pick up a delighted Holly from kennels.

We'll see Sam, Lucy and Arthur in January when we go skiing, but these little glimpses of Arthur bring it home how lucky we are to be able to spend so much time with Julia.

Three generations of Rayners. Arthur would love to get his hands on an iPhone!