More things I've done for the first time

Christmas 2015 selfie with Julia

This is a list of things that I've done for the first time during 2015.

1. I became a grandfather

Can't claim much credit for this one. Tom announced that Lucia was pregnant just after Christmas, although some of the more observant members of the family noticed that she hadn't been drinking. Julia, our granddaughter, was born on June 26 and she has been a source of great pleasure. the biggest difference between being a parent and a grandparent is that you notice the changes in a child much more. Because you're not there with them all the time, each time you see them, there's something new, which is wonderful.

2. I skied across a national border and did a half pipe

Neither of them were a great success, I have to say. On our ski holiday to St Foy, we had a day at La Rosiere, where you can ski down into Italy from the top of the resort. It wasn't entirely successful because a lot of routes were closed due to bad weather. I did get into Italy, but we were worried about getting back due to lifts closing. The half-pipe thing (Sam's idea, of course) happened in La Plagne on another day excursion. I was doing all right for a while, but ended up crashing on my head and seeing stars for half an hour.

3. I walked out of a theatre mid-performance

We often go to the Key Theatre and we're seen some terrific stuff. However, one performance by an improvisation group called Showstoppers was so bad that we decided to leave in the interval. It was billed as an ad-lib musical and I thought it might be quite clever. This type of performance does ask a lot of the players and, sadly, they just weren't up to it. I did feel guilty, but couldn’t face another hour of it.

4. I became the editor of the Thorney Post

It's our village magazine, which comes out three times a year. The previous editor was well into her 80s and struggling to get the work done. It's not too difficult, but there's no salary and no expense account. It was a pretty newsy year, with wind turbines causing some planning controversies, so there was no trouble filling the pages. I got a web address - www.thorneypost.com - and built a website with Tom's help, we also have a Facebook page and a Twitter account. For the December edition, I changed printer and we managed to get the whole magazine in full colour.

5. I took Holly to dog agility

This is an assault course for dogs and Holly didn't really like it. She was so stiff the next day that she couldn't jump on the sofa! It didn't help that she was also attacked by this huge dog whose owner hadn't got a clue how to manage it. We went a few times, but I think Holly prefers a run on the beach or around Toneham. She did win the Easter competition for the longest jump by a medium-sized dog, so we went out on a high.

6. I went to a Flamenco show

The show, by an authentic Spanish troup was at Stamford Arts Centre and our trip was organised by Jackie, who goes to Spanish classes with me and also yoga with Margaret and my sister. It was very good. Mucho stomping and clapping.

7. I went up Boston Stump

My ride-out for the U3A motorcycle group was to Boston (Lincs) with a trip to the top of the stump for anyone fit enough. Four of us went up and it is quite a tough climb (I was puffing by the time I reached the top). The view is fantastic, although we failed to spot Lincoln Cathedral in the heat haze.

Me with U3A bikers at the top of the Stump

8. I got a greenhouse

I've always wanted a greenhouse and mine was finally erected in late spring, just in time to fill it with tomatoes, peppers and cucumbers. It will be (and it is) a source of much pleasure. We got a 10-sided structure and built a special base for it as we wanted to site it next to the patio and therefore it had to look good.

My newly erected greenhouse

9. I visited a First World War battlefield

Max and I had a trip to Loos, where my grandfather Richard Little was in action for the first time. It was a classic Loos was a classic British army cock-up, with thousands of men needlessly killed in an attempt to make a bad plan work. We visited close to the 100th anniversary and it's still a chilling thing to visit the many military cemeteries. I'd done a study of the role of my grandfather's battalion and we were able to visit many parts of the battlefield where they had seen action.

The British Memorial and cemetery at the Lens Road Redoubt, Loos

10. I joined Probus

Probus is a social club for retired professional and business people. We meet twice a month - once for lunch and once for coffee and a speaker. There are also monthly walks and various excursions. I've quite enjoyed it - one of the things I missed about work was always meeting new people, so this has given me an opportunity to meet quite a few new folk and there are some interesting characters among them.

Probus president John Meehan welcomes me to the club

Burlesque at the Key Theatre

Ever since I met my good friend and former work colleague Davina Page (aka Miss Amarettease) she has been saying that I must go to see a Burlesque show.

Well, on Saturday night, I took the plunge - Margaret and I went to a night of Burlesque at the Key Theatre.

Margaret wasn't keen, she thought it would be full of dirty old men in raincoats, but that was far from the case. The audience was mainly women (including a hen night), lots of people were dressed up with feather boas and the like, and the men that were there were all with partners.

Burlesque, or this show at least, was more like music hall than a strip club.

It was a fairly low-budget show, there was no band (all the music was recorded), no scenery and only a few acts, but the acts that were there were good quality and they worked hard with most doing a couple of slots.

The night was hosted by a comedienne/singer called Sarah Louise Young. She was very good, engaging the audience immediately, she was a bit cheeky to us and quickly found a couple of people who would play along with her. She identified the hen night crowd, discovered that the 'hen' was pregnant and managed not to be too judgmental. She kept a comedy commentary going, interspersed with songs, including some by Tom Lehrer and some original material. She had a really good French character she had created - a woman singer who was friends with Edith Piaf, but Piaf had done the dirty on her, so she had come to England. It was quite a good act and gave her the chance to sing a couple more songs.

The burlesque side of the show was done by two performers - Betty Blue Eyes and Luna Rosa. Davina said that Luna Rosa was one of the top burlesque dancers in the UK. Betty Blue Eyes started the show by doing a reverse strip, where she started off almost naked and then got dressed. It was a neat act with some clever costume design. In one move she put on a dressing down and when she took it off she was wearing a dress. She also did a routine where she paid tribute to Liberace, which included a very small piano.

Betty Blue Eyes was cheeky comedy, Luna Rosa was full on exotic dancer. Her first routine saw her festooned with pheasant feathers and the second was a sort of Egyptian, Cleopatra-inspired number. Luna has an amazing figure, but is covered with tattoos. Davina says that's very common.

The variety/cabaret acts were two magicians called Morgan & West, a mouth juggler called Rod Laver and a novelty act with electricity called The Great Voltini and Nurse Electra.

The mouth juggler spat and caught ping-pong balls and he was very good - Margaret thought he was hilarious and there's a video which gives a flavour of his act here.

The Great Voltini was something else (as they say). His act was out of the Victorian circus sideshow and involved high-voltage electricity, which would jump across electrodes. He used his body and his assistant's (his wife) as electrodes. They could illuminate fluorescent tubes just by holding them and ignite fuel soaked rags from a spark. The person acting as the electrode stood on a plastic platform so they were insulated.

It started to get a bit weird when Nurse Electra whipped out her left breast, which was pierced with a nipple ring, and used that to create a spark to light a flaming torch; it got really weird when Voltini shoved an electrode up his bum so you could see the spark jumping across. You have been warned, but you can see their act on video here.

We'd go to burlesque again - it was good fun. Perhaps the audience needed to be a little more responsive (a few more oohs! when clothes were removed) but everyone had a good time and the Key was packed.

A couple of swingers

Now that I have retired, it's been a good opportunity to get out a little more.

I haven't been to the Key Theatre - Peterborough's only theatre - since Tom was in Smike (a school musical) in his first year at King's School. That's about 18 years ago!

It's a good job the theatre doesn't depend on the likes of me to keep going.

Well, I hope to be able to go to the theatre more regularly in the future and I've booked up a number of shows, the first being a show called Swinging at the Cotton Club – which was billed as a recreation of the dance and music from the famous American club of the 1920s.

It sounded quite good and we had a pretty nice evening. There was a live band - Harry Struthers' Hot Rhythm Orchestra, who all looked over 70, but did a pretty good job - and a dance group called the Jiving Lindy Hoppers (two men and three women), plus a tap dancer and a woman singer. There's a video here:  

There was Lindy Hop, Charleston and tap and it was good clean fun (as they say). The band was unusual in that there was no bass player, instead the rhythm came from a massive sousaphone, which must have been a challenge to hold, let alone blow, for the white-haired chap playing it.

The best part of the evening came right at the end. A chap dressed in Teddy Boy gear had sat in front of us. He'd been hugely enthusiastic all the way through the show, almost to the point of being annoying. In the last number, the Lindy Hoppers came down into the audience to grab people to take up on stage to jive. The last time I jived, I missed a crucial grab with my partner and she almost demolished the DJ's turntables by crashing into them, so perhaps it's as well I wasn't asked. The Teddy Boy, sitting at the end of the front row, was a shoo in, but when he got up on stage, he was the most unco-ordinated jiver you could imagine. He was so bad, the professional left him to it and went to find someone else. The Ted grabbed his wife/partner, pulled her on stage and she was even worse than him!