Looking after grandchildren

I have not posted much on my diary for the past couple of months. I seems to have been ridiculously busy - I am looking after Julia one day a week, I've taken on the job as chair of governors at school and there has been an edition of the Thorney Post to get out. There's also Probus meetings, Churches & Teas Group, helping at Thorney Friendship Group and Spanish classes.

I'm not complaining, I enjoy all my jobs, especially the time spent with Julia, but it is surprising that my retirement free time is so small. In the new year, I will have to resolve to get better organised. I'd really like to devote a bit more time to fitness and also get the allotment better organised. Perhaps the two could be combined?

I started my Julia-sitting duties at the beginning of October when Lucy began her PhD at King's College, Cambridge. I had agreed to do Wednesdays, Margaret Fridays and Tom Thursdays (Julia would go to nursery on Mondays and Tuesdays). It's easy to sit down and plan these things, but reality has a habit of getting in the way of the best-laid plans. Julia didn't take to nursery very easily and, to make matters worse, Tom and Lucy had chosen one in Letchworth instead of the one across the road from their house. This meant a mile-and-a-half trip each way, the purchase of a bicycle, child seat for the said bike and a lot of worry about whether Julia would ever settle.

Of course, she did, but only after a few weeks. The trouble with nurseries is that they take every opportunity to get the child back home, so if parents show any weakness (such as saying "let us know if she's upset") they will be straight on the phone. It's hard to be hard, but it's the only way.

Julia did settle in pretty happily in the end, but Tom and Lucy have now moved her to the nursery opposite their house, which should be a much more convenient arrangement. There are more children in the group, but I'm not sure Julia will worry about that.

Lucy has been hit hard by the amount of work she needs to do and has had to do a lot more reading, research and essay writing than was anticipated. This, combined with Tom's unpredictable work demands has meant we've been on call for some additional days and also some weekends.

I was a little worried about looking after Julia, it's been a long time since I had a toddler to care for, but it has been a real joy. She seems to have had a continual cold and cough since starting nursery, but she's a real pleasure to be with and it's nice to be able to spend so much time with her. When my own children were this age, I was working all the hours I could to earn money and progress my career and I missed out on such a lot.

She loves a walk around Baldock and a trip to Tesco is always a good bet. I've also taken her to Heartbeeps (grown out of that now), toddler singing in Letchworth, Logan's Den (a play cafe in Baldock) and a regular trip has been to Grandparents & Toddlers Playgroup at the Mrs Howard Memorial Hall in Letchworth. This runs from 10am to 11.15 on Wednesday mornings and, combined with a rail trip from Baldock, plus a look at the fountains in Letchworth, makes for a very convivial morning. After that's it's lunch, potty training, sleep, play, dinner, bath and then mum or dad is home.

Julia has a snooze on grandad's belly (nice and soft)

I've been rocking her to sleep to Edward Lear's The Owl and The Pussycat. My mother used to say the poem to me when I was a little boy going to bed and I can still her her voice, deep in my soul: "what a beautiful pussy you are ... you are ..." as I drifted off to sleep. I'm not sure Julia always hears the magic and sometimes I have to revert to “Rock-a-bye Julia in the Tree Top”. A tired teddy was a useful prop for a couple of weeks, but Lucy has now hidden Teddy so Julia doesn’t suffer from this crazy English teddy fetish. Lucy has never used a cot for Julia (she calls it a cage) so the sleep routine has to be to rock her in your arms until she nods off, make sure she's properly asleep and then put her down on the bed. It's like handling high explosive - you need a steely nerve and a steady hand. Often, I'm ready for a sit down as well, so I just rock her to sleep in the comfy armchair and enjoy a quiet hour or so myself.

It's a shame we can't enjoy as much time with Arthur, but Jersey is not as easy to reach as Baldock. Arthur has been in nursery full time, five days a week, since Lucy started back at work in August. We've just has a weekend with them in Jersey and I can't believe how hard they all work. Arthur is generally up about 5am and is starving. On Monday, I was down at 6am and he was, uncharacteristically, crying and grumbling in Lucy's arms. Lucy said he wasn't happy because his milk was taking a while to warm up so I took him into the lounge to divert him by showing him the Christmas tree.

Lucy was soon through with his milk and he sits back in his little rocking bed and holds his bottle to drink. He's very dextrous when it comes to holding a bottle and he does love his food. His joy in a morning is to go to nursery at 7am and have a Weetabix with warm baby milk when he gets there. He started on a few solids a month or so ago and he will now try pretty much anything. He doesn't have teeth yet, but he worked his way through a good length of banana, various vegetables and meat, including ham. He seems to have a slight egg allergy so Sam and Lucy are avoiding that. Because we won't see Sam and Lucy at Christmas, Sam did us a Christmas dinner on the Sunday evening, complete with chicken, ham and roast potatoes (plus Christmas pudding). Arthur had his first taste of Brussels sprouts and thought they were yummy.

During the week, Arthur's day starts around 5.30am with breakfast milk, then he's off to nursery at 7am and dropped off by either Sam or Lucy, who then go on to work. The nursery is in St Helier and is quite close to both Sam's and Lucy's surgery/office. He's there all day and get's picked up after work and home about 6.30pm. Arthur is often ready for sleep and so it's time to get him ready for bed and then off again in the morning. Weekends are when Sam and Lucy get to spend time with him. It's a very different routine to the one we had with our children, but Arthur seems very happy and is growing up fast. He can sit confidently, but can't yet pull himself into a sitting position. If you put him on his belly, we will lift himself up into a crawl position and can move himself backwards on their wood floor. He will also stand and lean against the back of a chair or between your legs, so he has a lot of core strength for his age.

He likes to go in his walker and can get around the lounge quite well. He also has a lot to say for himself and jabbers away to the world, generally with a nice smile on his face.

Arthur falls for the old reindeer ears picture

We only had a couple of days on Jersey and on Saturday morning we went to St Peter's Garden Centre near the airport to buy a Christmas tree. We'd feared the worst that crowded Christmas shopping could throw at us, but it was actually a really nice atmosphere and Arthur quite enjoyed all the sights, the people and being wheeled/carried around. Sam was on call and had to go to see a patient, but we'd taken two cars, so we stayed on a bit and had a drink and cake in the cafe. Margaret has been campaigning for a new artificial tree and I have been a bit grumpy about it because we had an artificial tree which she gave away two years ago. I think I got into the Christmas spirit in Jersey, if we hadn't been restricted to two cabin bags, I'd have bought trees, lights, reindeer ...

It was fine weather, but with quite a cold wind and, in the afternoon, we went down to St Aubin's Bay and walked around to St`Aubin, where there was a small community Christmas Fair. Arthur was well wrapped up in his special suit and slept pretty much the whole walk. Margaret insisted on pushing him despite cold hands.

Once Arthur was in bed and we'd watched Strictly Come Dancing on television, I suggested Lucy decorated the tree. She didn't look very happy at the prospect (I think she had her heart set on finishing the sherry bottle), but knew she wouldn't have time the next day, so she set to. She soon started to enjoy herself and the tree looked lovely. Arthur was very interested the next day and grabbing a bauble off the tree might be just the incentive he needs to get his head around this crawling business.

Blowing raspberries at Arthur on the walk.

On Sunday, we walked through St Lawrence, via the back roads to Hamptonne Country Life Museum, where there was another Christmas Fair. It's an interesting place and one of the attractions was a working cider mill, which would be a great facility to have in Thorney. There was an apple crusher, a press and a collection of fermentation barrels. We had mulled cider and an enormous sausage in French bread, which meant I could barely eat anything for the rest of the day.

Arthur was happy to snooze most of the time, but woke up on the way home and decided he's spent enough time in his buggy. Sam and I carried him, taking it in turns until the last quarter of a mile when Margaret wanted a turn. When we got in, Sam cooked a Christmas dinner, while I entertained Arthur and Margaret went with Lucy to Jersey zoo. We'd decided to get Arthur a year's membership as it seems a good place to go to keep him entertained at a weekend. Arthur needed a nappy change and had presented me with a poo. As soon I I got his nappy off he wee’d and I only just managed to jump out of the way. I now had a wet pad and no idea where the new nappies were. I eventually found one under the changing table, but it turned out this was a swimming nappy (designed to keep in poo, but let wee straight out), so he needed a complete change by the time Lucy and Margaret got home.

The weekend was over all too soon. Lucy dropped us at the airport the next day and we had a monster breakfast there before flying back to Gatwick. It was a good journey and we were back about 2pm, in time to buy that artificial Christmas tree, some lights and pick up a delighted Holly from kennels.

We'll see Sam, Lucy and Arthur in January when we go skiing, but these little glimpses of Arthur bring it home how lucky we are to be able to spend so much time with Julia.

Three generations of Rayners. Arthur would love to get his hands on an iPhone!